Being mom

I have been mothering for almost 21 years and I have to admit, it has not gotten any easier. I still struggle with doubts and wondering if I am doing okay. I can look back at things I have done that may not have been the best mothering choice. For instance the time I told Kelsey I was taking a pencil sharpener to the police to be fingerprinted. She swore up and down that she had nothing to do with the broken crayon in the sharpener that I had told her not to put crayons in. Oh, and she was still the only child....hmmmm! She cried and begged me not to go to the police. Yes, it is pretty funny now but it was very upsetting to her then.

Another moment of brilliance was putting a tv in the girls room. It may work for some families but I just couldn't stand waking up at 5:00 in the morning, or other hours of the night, to the sound of cartoons blaring.

How about getting after a little one that keeps coming in my room during the night because her tummy hurts and then she throws up all over her older sisters stuff.  Really, I thought she was just being a pickle. I didn't know she was really sick! Well, I got to clean puke when I would have rather been sleeping, but that is what moms do.

We nurse until we feel like we are just a giant boob, we help a little girl pee by the side of the road because we forgot to have her go potty before we left, we hurry to the school when our little one (a freshmen in high school) won't come out of the bathroom, and we go without so many things so our kiddos can have their needs and wants met.

I wouldn't' t have it any other way! It is not always easy but being a mom is one of the best things that I have been blessed with. I have learned to relax...a lot! It really will be okay. I have learned that a child's way of cleaning does need coaching and guidance but the job they did is better than it was before they started...usually! They are learning and someday I am sure I will enjoy spending time in their homes that they keep just fine.

Now I rarely ever fold laundry or empty the dishwasher because this is part of the girls daily chores. The clothes are sometimes crumpled or the socks don't match but someday, before I know it, I will be back to doing it all. So, for now I am thankful for the ups and downs and the joys of having four wonderful girls. I pray the girls will give me grace and realize that I did the best that I knew to do.

I may even organize my silverware drawer but for now...I'll take it just like it is!